Gok-inspired

A sensible wardrobe should have 24 pieces that can mix and match.

Few items I remember: palazzo pants, white undershirts, white button down shirt, neutral & statement jacket.

Good to note: pick pieces that revolve around a statement color that compliments the skintone.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

(FFP) Chapter Closed

I was off work yesterday because my FFP exam was scheduled in the afternoon. It's the first subject I'm taking for my Diploma in Financial Planning. I was pretty chill about it at first knowing that I easily passed the online practise exams. But as the hours were winding down, I started feeling anxious about it. Coming from a quick catch up lunch with the girls - Teena, Jericho and Ela - I was half an hour early for the exam. While waiting for the time, I noticed all the other examiners fidgeting with their notes, nervously flicking through the pages of the module and noisily typing on their calculators. I thought to myself, "Geez, every one's pretty nervous about this, should I be too?". After that thought, I started to panic and began mimicking everyone. I started racing through each of the eight modules' review questions and then I started panicking. But it was too late, soon after, we got called in the exam room and I said my last prayer. Last prayer for the Holy Spirit to enlighten my mind and help me pass the exam. Straight after my "Amen", I could feel myself calm down and start answering the questions. The answers didn't come to me very easily though. I had to review my answers a couple of times and kept flicking through my notes (thank God for open-book exams!). Halfway through, I dared to press the Submit Exam button quickly scanning for my score. I was saw nervous that it took me a good 45 seconds to find the result - Competent! Ahh, the only word I was hoping for. Yay! I was practically skipping out of the room. I felt extra good too because I was the first one in our batch to finish the exam.

Done. Dusted. Finito.

I can go back my normal life now. For now, I can say bye-bye to my notes and read my magazines.

Till my next study time.

Toxicity

Life is full of challenges. One of the greatest ones I fear now is the presence of toxic people. This one particular person always brings out the worst in me.

Betrayal makes me feel, well, betrayed. It's a very negative feeling. Dishonesty is another toxic trait. This leads to anger and resentment.

I try to resist and stay away from these kinds of negativity. I try, really hard. But I'm not strong enough. Sometimes I win against it, but there are just those times when it goes under my skin and makes me an evil person. I wish there was someone out there who can tell me how to rise above this.

I want to be a positive person. I really do. I need help and more practice. I will rise above this all.

Day 1 – Inertia

The first step is always the hardest. Whether it be leaving a lover or starting a new diet, there’s always a resistance to change. I believe physicists call it inertia.

Although it’s hard to break away from old habits, I am consciously making an effort to change and get rid of my inner monsters. Today’s monster was the hermit Grinch. I always thought of myself as being a social butterfly. One that could talk and carry on a conversation with almost anybody. I used to be in PR, you know. But now, I’ve got this anti-social monster within me that prefers to be alone, live in a cave and not having to talk to people – especially the ones I’m not particularly fond of.

Today I did well in putting hermit Grinch back in the cave. We had our pre-Australia Day BBQ in the office and being part of the Social Committee (ironic, huh?), I helped prepare the salads and the physical arrangement – with a smile. When my team didn’t come to the BBQ immediately, I went ahead and sat with a new bunch of people. Made an effort to put in conversation and smile :)

Well, that’s a start, aint it?

The gang is spending the weekend up the coast. A double date of sorts - MJ and myself with Bert and Tiny. Thinking about it last night, I thought to myself, “I’m gonna be too tired by the time I get to Gosford. After working all day, I would want to rest and sleep instead of having to socialise, talk and drink.” But today is a new day and the hermit Grinch is banished!

I was reading on MSN.com today that we should start each day with a thought of something to look forward to. My happy thought for the day is looking forward to spending time with great friends and have a great time.

It seems to be working! :)

2010 - This year is my year!

Projects thrill me... I love working towards something and the anticipation of reaching the goal keeps me going. The closer it gets, the more effort I put into it. Then I reach the summit, sweet victory.

I just started on a mini-project. ME!

My birthday this year marks me turning 26 - ladies and gentlemen, I'll be in my late twenties! Wow... So I thought my birthday this year would mark the unveiling of a new me and of the person who I want to be.

I think what's holding me back from reaching my dreams is just me. I now have more than I've ever had before. Sometimes I think I'm just scared to embrace what's out there. Other times I think I don't deserve all the good and great things that come my way.

Browsing on MSN.com today, I came across an article about making this year - my year. Covering all topics about making a career change to overhauling my look.

So yes my project, let's call it Do-it-Deb (DIB), is on it's way.

I reckon the more often I document it, the more I keep track of where things are at. The more aware I am, the more I can push myself and achieve.

Project Name: Do it Deb (DIB)

Project presentation date: 15 May 2010

Project Manager: yours truly

Tag line: Woohoo!

Cheers to better times and being the person I truly am meant to be - happy!!

Scribble, Scrabble, Nothing but Words

Words might mean a lot in here, in fact it might even mean the world to someone like me. But in reality, do they even mean anything? There’s this age old saying I often hear that

Actions speak louder than words, but words support the action.

Not in my world. You see, my problem is that the words do not align with actions and vice versa. I hear words of promises of change and of improvement. I get hugs and kisses. But promises do not equal hugs, neither does improvement = kisses.

I’m told I’m loved. Yet I don’t feel it. Isolation is what I feel. Most days I put up with it. Most days I sometimes think it’s just me “wanting more and more and is never satisfied”. But some days, I wake up without the muddled eyes. Like the mud has been washed away and I see clearly. These destructive houghts I’ve got have just been planted there by toxic people. Insecure persons do everything to try to bring you down. This makes them feel better about themselves, you see. But how do you help an insecure person? I’ve tried boosting the morale by praises and recognising and rewarding achievements but all I’ve got in return is a person taking advantage of my goodness and sucking the positivity out of me. Now I’m left a dry, empty almost lifeless person with little respect for myself. I’ve been made to think I deserve the abuse - physical, emotional and mental - and neglect.

It’s very hard to talk to a person who prefers to see the world with closed eyes and using only his imagination. This kind of person thinks that there is no truth aside from the truth he makes. It’s hard to make someone open up his eyes when all he wants to do is live in his muddled world of lies. I’ve almost given up hope.

The only tiny bit of hope left is for me not to let these toxic thoughts and people get close to me. I can slowly rebuild and maybe start to become happy again. I can’t save everyone so I better start saving myself before I completely drown.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all!

It's that time of year again when I write down my resolutions for the year. Let's see what we've got.

1. Keep weight at maximum 53 kg.

2. Be debt free.

3. Get my driving license.

4. Enroll in make up class.

5. Go for a walk everyday.

6. Gym 4 times a week - consistently!

7. Be more ladylike

8. Refrain from negative thoughts and stay away from toxic people.

9. Indulge self more - even if it means DIY spa night

10. Organise iTunes music library.

11. Continue studies.

aaand it's a wrap! I think. Well, that's all I can think of for now. But of course, it's not a final list. It can constantly evolve and change as the year goes on.

2010 is about moving forward and not backwards.

We write our own histories. I'll start a blank page today and keep on writing. Clean slate with interesting stuff happening in the new year.

Best wishes to everyone!