2009, Here I Come!

Wow, a few more days and 2008 is drawing to its end already.

I'd say that went by quickly. Too quickly, I'd say.

When 2008 started, I was not to keen on it. I thought it was just another year. Another year same as the year before and probably the same as the years to come. I did manage to conjure a list of my New Year's Resolutions but actually came around to doing this list mid-February. At that time, all I thought was the age-old cliche of Better Late than Never. True enough, that attitude brought forth a list with out conviction. A list that consists of things which I thought I should do.

It's 30 December 2008 today. And I couldn't wait to get started on my resolutions! Wait, I lied.. I've already completed my list over the weekend. This time, I feel more conviction about everything I've written. I can't wait to start my life over.

I do have a confession to make. A guilty confession. I had a look at my 2008 list, and most of the items, I haven't done. So sue me! That's why I decided to recycle my list. Things I meant to do in past year which I didn't, I'm going to do this year. I feel hopeful about things this time. Here's my list for 2009 and see where we're at by year end. Here's to good luck!

1. Surpass the eternal female struggle - Maintain a healthy weight. Should be achieved my mid year.

2. Maintain a zero credit card balance at the end of each month. Bye bye emotional shopping outbursts.

3. Exercises. At least 3 times a week. Health is wealth as they say.

4. Read 1 book each week. Tis also good to invest in the mind y'know.

5. Spa Night once a week. Ahh... It's also good to reward thyself.

6. Gotsa pursue my Pharmacy Career. Admin jobs suck. It makes you dumb.

7. Pray more. It does give me a fuller sense of being.

8. Reconnect with Family. I think it'll make me feel more complete.

Well, that's it for this year!

In the mean time, I'm busy preparing for the big Sydney New Year Spectacle!

E-mote

Feelings evoke Passion.

But what if I've got a kaleidoscope of feelings happening all at the same time? Some feelings manifesting quite "loudly" while others are mere whispers in the background. I'm not sure what to make of it really.

Times like today, I'm feeling really anxious and confused. Not sure about the WHYs and WHATs. I have a hunch my mind is defensively screening my thoughts. I'm feeling this way and there is a reason why. What these reasons are? I don't know. I think my mind is blocking out these reasons for fear of getting hurt. What's more prominent though in the forefront of my mind are happy thoughts, and these very thoughts are what's causing the tiny, barely audible echoes of whispers of happiness and contentment. However, the more I subconsiously repress the sad thoughts and push them further into the deepest abbyss of my mind, the negative feelings somehow resonate louder and louder. And still I refuse to face the music and process what might be causing these negative feelings.

Am I ready to face whatever this thing that's bothering me is? Am I ready to deal with the outcome? Will I come out of this stronger and better and ever? Or will I just crumble to bits.

The answers to those questions don't matter. I should do it still and that's the only honorable way to go.

Missing Pear-shaped Ham

It's 15th of December, a few more days till Christmas. I should be jumping for joy a-ny-time soon... *tapping my fingers* ...
Nothing.
I guess this is what I get for moving to Australia where Christmas is not as big a deal as it was back in the Philippines. I grew up waiting for Christmas all-year long. The kind of celebration where shops start playing Christmas songs in October and where trees and decor are all abound around the same time. The kind of Christmas where my parents bought at least 20 pieces of Sunpride pear-shaped ham, with yummy pineapple sauce to give away as presents. Fruitcake trickle to the table by the dozens each month, and it was just as much as a tradition to pass around these cakes as recycled gift.
Soon I start feeling giddy and guilty as charged - change my ring tone to a Christmas song. The sound of carolers become oh-so familiar. Groups of kids and even adults stop by the house to sing and of course ask for money. To be honest, this practice got on my nerves back then but now I find myself missing the familiar chorus. On 1st of December, I find my calendar slowly filling up from all the parties I have to attend. The smell of hamonda and Coke fill the air. All the houses are lit and lanterns are present in every house's facade. The shopping centres are full of cheer. People do away with the usual Hi's and Hello's and instead greet you with a "Merry Christmas" along with a cheery smile.
The Christmas Tree at home fill up so quickly too! None of the too expensive presents though, but full of sweet little nothings. Calls from friends and family around the world are expected. Christmas cards in the mail almost everyday. Around this day, everyone start making plans of going to Simbang Gabi - 9 days of Morning Masses leading to Christmas Day itself. Friends meet up at church and enjoy a quick mini-meal at the end of the mass.
All these things seemed so trivial back then. Who would've thought I'd miss it all - the carolers, waking up early for Simbang Gabi and of course, the pear-shaped ham.

Movie Review: Twilight

Absolutely CRAP-tastic!!!

What does that mean? I have no bloody idea.

I'm so torn you see. I love the books. Finished all four books in 8 days. I'm an absolute fan and I often find myself deliberating points of the story with EJ on Facebook. Thus, I feel the need to be loyal to my new obsession. I knew reviews of the movie weren't all that great but I still felt the need to watch it - to support the whole project. MJ even bought us Gold Class tickets at $40 each!

So, I'm not going to great lengths to describe how bad the movie is. It'll only make us sound stupid for spending almost $100 for 90 minutes of crap. The recliner chairs of the movie house only made me feel sleepy watching the movie. It wasn't boring, but I just felt like I couldn't watch a lot of scenes without cringing. The meadow scene for example was a glorious scene in the book. However in the movie it was YUCK as in baduy (translation: Daggy).

As I said, I'm not going to great lengths to describe my utter distaste of this movie. Plainly, it was crap.
But I'm still a fan and I still encourage everyone to go watch it.

I'm just glad they changed the director for New Moon. And yes, every one in the cast needs acting lessons.

Go Edward and Bella!

In a bit of a dark and slighly depressing mood.

Wednesday... Mid-week hump day they call it. It's when you feel the stress of work but the weekend still isn't anywhere in sight. I've never been bothered too much by Wednesdays. Maybe I'm feeling this slump because of a few unpleasant vibes around me. For one, I just finished reading the fourth book of the Twilight series - Breaking Dawn. I mean, yeah, it's been an absolute joy to read the whole series in 8 days. But what am I going to do now? I miss Bella and Edward. Oh well, I can go back to reading my favorite parts of the book anyway. But Bella and Edward should be the least of my concerns. Dad's still in the hospital. The thought is just freaking me out. He had his surgery last week, but he's still in because doctors have to observe him - his heart, his sugar level, his lungs. And being here, not being able to anything, feeling helpless -- it's not good for my well-being. Hearing the anxiety and worry in voice of my mum when she gives me updates does not help either. It can be really draining - emotionally and financially. You'd expect MJ to be more understanding and considerate of my fragile state, but noooo.... He has to give me a hard time too. I wasn't talking to him this morning but he rang me during my lunch break because he needed something so I had to talk to him.

On second thought, it would be good to have Twilight to read again. I need the distraction from all these. There's nothing much I can do except pray. Worrying can be such a waste of time and energy. After giving it some thought, I think worrying is the mind's way of coping, or prepping up for the worst. So if worst comes to worse, the body doesn't go into shock. I still wish I would stop worrying now. I wouldn't want to go into shock either.

I wish I could handle this stress better. I better figure out something soon. Real soon.

Weekend, Schmeekend

Quite an eventful weekend I've had.

We had Maricel's (first) birthday celebration Friday night. I wasn't feeling too well. Had to skip work that day because I just couldn't get my head up. I had the mental image of me battling my eyes to stay open at work. Figured getting some rest would be better than lasting through the day groggy ( not to mention embarrassing myself in the process) at work. Bert picked up MJ from work, then picked me up at home. Had to pick up EJ too at Bondi. We started heading to Pancake on the Rocks for the dinner celebration. Left the house at half past six, got to The Rocks at quarter to nine. Some long drive. Just when you think I couldn't have eaten any later, I couldn't find Maricel in the restaurant! Gave her a quick ring only to find out we were at the wrong branch. We were meeting at Pancake on the Rocks -- Darling Harbour branch. Oh well, we couldn't stand driving anymore. Trying to find parking in Sydney on a Friday night is not an easy task. Took a cab instead. Time check: nine. Dinner at nine. Just what my ailing body needed. The rest of the night was fun. Went to Lowenbrau for some dancing and drinks. Got home 3-ish.

Buzz!

The sound of the alarm. Saturday morning. I was meeting up with an old friend from Cebu - TJ. I used to call her Ate TJ, but the prefix sounds a bit, uhm..., childish to me now. TJ, Ate TJ, Tessa . Ten in the morning. I haven't heard from TJ yet. Thought their ship prolly hasn't docked yet. TJ is in a band performing on a cruise ship. What a life! I mean that the good way though. Anyway, so I left TJ a message on Friendster. I told her we might be taking her to Bondi - Sydney's world famous beach - as the weather was looking mighty fine. A warm 35 degrees. Bert arrived 11-ish, but MJ and I were in the middle of brunch. Bert joined us for bruch having corned beef ala MJ. Corned beef with mushroom, onions and egg. 12 o'clock. Still no word from TJ. We decided to start heading to Bondi and telling TJ to catch up with us there. The beach wasn't as packed as I excpected, which was good. The boys dozed off on the sand while I burried myself in my book - Twilight's fouth installment - Breaking Dawn. Four-ish, still no word from TJ. She's definitely not joining us for sure. It was too late to do anything. We had to start heading off too, as we had to head to Glenwood for another dinner party. But not without stopping by Bondi Hotel for a quick beer. Highlight of my day? Lechon at the dinner party.

Buzz!

Dang this alarm. Sunday morning. We had to rush again for the second part of Maricel's birthday celebration. It was a lunch gathering of dual purpose. Aside from the birthday, Manny Pacquaio was also fighting Oscar de la Hoya. I instictively thought Manny didn't have a chance. With Oscar's experience and the obvious advantage in his vital statistics, PacMan was sure to fall flat on his face. I've never been a big fan of Boxing. I even think it's such a cruel sport! How can you avoid cringing when your motivation is crushing your opponent to pieces. Then the unthinkable happened... de la Hoya throws i the towel! Woohoo! I'm not a fan of boxing, sure, but I've just become a fan of Manny Pacquiao.

Buzz!
Snooze.
Buzz!
Snooze.
Buzz!!!!!!!!

Fine, I give up. I'm awake. Monday morning... Can I get through the day alive? I was only feeling slightly better now than I was on Friday but I couldn't afford to miss a day of work again. Eventually, I got to the office all in one piece.

Start of another week.

Taking a Breather

Edward and Bella... sigh...

I'm not up to the part where they have their time alone before the big fight (I'm reading Eclipse now). Edward just proposed to Bella with the ring his dad gave his mum. Bella answered with a simple "Yes", making the engagement now official.

I thought I'd take a breather for a moment. My heart is just fluttering.

I can be soooo...

such a girl sometimes.

My Nose Is....

My nose is buried in a book.

Buried in the Twilight series. I bought Twilight three days ago and finished it during lunch break today. My friend Mara, just sent me the e-books for the next two installments.

New Moon has got me caught again in the crazy-but-I-love-it world of Bella and Edward.

I can't pull myself away.

I've gotta keep my head buried in it and get lost in their world.

Twilight Mania

Yes, I admit, I'm jumping on the bandwagon too... Surprisingly, I too, can't pull myself away from it! I just have to bury myself in it. That's exactly the reason why I can't take too much time to blog today. I hafta, hafta, hafta get back to my book!

P.S.
We got our TV today. 46-inches of video glory. Yipee!

Dawning of a New Era

WAS: Walking in High Heels
Descript: Strolling in the Park, moonlight dancing, sharing a dose of tea and sympathy or fixing a busted light bulb -- always hear high heels.

NOW: LIFE IN HIGH HEELS
More-apt Descript: Diary of a 20-ish gal, recently hitched, somehow domesticated, vowing never to lose the "I" in F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S!

Change happens. And the best way to cope? Ride the wave.

Wannabe

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

NO, not exactly that kind of Wannabe, but I sure feel like singing it. I'm feeling quite uhmm... ziagzig ha.

MJ has been wanting to get a full HD TV for sometime now. I think it's such a ludicrous idea! Spending AU$4000 on a TV?? I'd be happier spending that on a Chanel bag to be honest. But in the spirit of Christmas, somehow my I felt like giving my guy treat. He's been such a good boy and I think Santa would have to agree with me. So, the planning starts....

After canvassing prices from different shops, we ended up deciding to buy it from Sony. The good side: we get a good discount. The down side: there's no "Interest Free Over 24 Months" sort of scheme. Outright Payment = Ouch!

And of course, the HD TV would do no good with out HD surround sound! Off MJ goes again trying to find the best deal he finds. He comes back to me with a proud smile saying he's found the perfect one for the unit. I smile. He adds, "Of course this needs a Play Station 3 to maximize it's full potential. I frown. I roll my eyes. He further adds, "Now we need Foxtel (Cable TV) too." I walk away.

Well now, everything's in place and set for delivery on Friday. And you know what, I'm secretly really excited about it. Nevermind that I'm not much of a TV person. Nevermind too that I'm not a big fan of video games. In fact, I remember playing with Kuya's Starcraft and I'd scare myself from the game. Nevermind that I plan to do more reading. I'm actually looking forward to getting this monstrousity of technology.
The photo in this entry shows what it will look like. How it actually looks like, I'm gonna have to post a photo once everything is set up.

I still don't want to show MJ that I'm actually stoked about our Christmas gift to each other. But yeah, I'm such a wannabe couch potato.

I Don't Really Like You Too...

Ever had someone who pretends to be your friend just fo' show? I really couldn't figure out why people have to do these sort of things. I'm not one for scandal (unless abso-bloody-lutely necessary). I favor diplomacy in conflict resolutions. If I dislike someone, sure, I don't go around talking shit about someone, I merely keep a distance. Well, that's just me anyway.

What I don't understand is people trying to act friendly when they've got ulterior motives. People who try their hardest to show you that they care. Now I'm thinking, maybe more like to show others that they care. I know someone like this. Maybe she's trying to be Miss Popularity? Who knows...

It's best to be rational about these things. If you don't like someone, you better have a damn good reason for this. Jealousy, my dear, is not valid one. It doesn't look pretty on anyone at all. That's why they call it the green-eyed monster. Insecurity? Not a good one either. Better try something else. There's always this thing called Healthy Competition. You might want to try this out because if you can't handle it, well, tough luck. And in case this hasn't dawned on you yet Honey, no one is perfect and you're not always right. Sorry for having to break this truth to you.

But I do know one sure thing. If you don't like someone, don't pretend you do. It's only gonna give you grief - it only makes you look older. You don't have to make a mess about the situation, but at least don't pretend you're friendly too.

People do see under your guise. Some people do actually see the transparency of your motives.

Wake up and smell the coffee - I don't really like you too.

How do you like your coffee?

Okay, it's 11:00AM, and as useless, I've got nothing to do. I came in half an hour early today as I need to leave earlier too. Everyone's in today too -- it's a full house -- meaning there's heaps more hands around to do stuff.

Bevin imported the cheques today, and as soon as I noticed the new imports, I walked straight over to his desk to ask for the files so I can start processing them. He immediately took hold of the statements and possesively held the paper against his chest. Whoa, I never pictured myself having to fight for more work! Any way, I told B that if he wants it that bad, he can have it. He gave me a cheeky smile. We've been hush-hush talking about how slow things have become here at work. He even jokingly asked who's next to get retrenched. I gave him a darting look to say "Don't broadcast that sort of stuff".

I've taken out my tweezers and started plucking my eyebrows. Tacky? Yes. But there's nothing to do... And I've got to prep for later. Hope I'm not sounding too cocky over here. I know a few people would love to trade places with me now. Hello Convergys people servicing Sprint?hehe. Yeah, I admit, things could be a lot worse. I remember my days working in a call centre - good gracious! I would die if I had that much work and stress. I'm in such a polar opposite now. Which would I prefer? Hmm.. That does require a bit of thought.

If one is after a cruise-y life, the no hassles, stress-free kind of life - this routine I have now is the way to go. There's no challenges but I can go online anytime, and if ever work does come along, I can do them with my eyes clsoed. A worry-free life. Aahhh....

On the other hand, a dyanamic work is good for one who wants excitement and variety. This works well for people who thrive on the adrenaline rush.

My ideal work is something that's never routine but still well-organised nonetheless. A duty that requires me to think, find solutions and have that "aha! moment" from time to time. Ever since school, I thrive under pressure. The feel of getting sucked into what ever I'm doing ignites passion and when the storm is over, the sense of accomplishment can also be oh-so- gratifying.

I do (sort of) still see the perks of this rut I'm in. I'll have to admit, this isn't how I want it to be for the rest of my life.

Something to Put those Baby Rumblings to Rest

You Are 32% Ready to Be a Parent

Even though you might feel ready, you're really not ready to be a parent. Having a kid will drain your resources. And you simply don't have enough to give right now. You would make a great parent one day, but you need to improve your life first. You want to make sure your relationships are as stable as possible. If you're already a parent, times are probably a bit tough for you. Just keep doing the best you can!

Cupckaes on Pitt

My latest obsession - Cupcakes on Pitt!

They just opened a new branch is Westfield - Parramatta (which is right next door to me). And everytime I pass by the shop, I just adore at how cute the little cuppy-cakeys look. The packaging is also too pretty. I'll find time to post a photo soon. Anyhoo, it's because of this that I decided to put this up on my blog...

And the results say.... (drumroll, please)

Ha! This is more like it!

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you tend to be a social butterfly. You enjoy making conversation and making sure everyone is having fun. You hardly have any restraint. You only hold yourself back when absolutely necessary. The most important thing in your life is fun. You are dominant, vain, and a bit of a show off. To know you is to worship you.

Guess what? I'm bored...

Me? Homey?? This makes me sound like such a bore.

You Are a Blueberry Muffin

You are a nurturing, domestic, homey person. Of all the types, you are the most likely to make your own muffins at home. You don't like to rock the boat, and you're most content when you're making everyone else happy. You are very loyal. You'll defend your family and friends, even if you secretly disapprove of what they're doing. You tend to be a bit shy and withdrawn. You don't make friends quickly or easily. But once you do make a good friend, the chances are high that you'll be friends for life.

Of all Things Hopeful

It's been a while since I took to my blog to vent. Life's become too hectic that I can no longer find the time to sit down and write. Oh, how I miss writing. I miss how I can just go on and on about things that concern me but could very well be rubbish to everyone else. I guess you could say I'm the type who prefers to think through personal issues in my mind rather than bore the heck out of someone. I love how "uncensored" I can be, without anyone darting strange looks at me or the hush-hushes I get when I talk too loud or say something politically incorrect. I don't think I strike as as introvert, but I guess there's that side in me that's unexplored by most.

Anyway, since my last blog, I'm not sure much has changed. I got married - yes - but that was close to 4 months ago. Married life has been a bliss though, and not as bad as people make it out to be. Work is beginning to get ho-hum and monotonous to say the least. Still doing the same thing I've been doing for the past couple of years. I don't see a promotion in foresight to be honest -- even if I could now perform my current tasks with my eyes closed! Almost everyday now, I get everything done my around 10 - 11am - and I finish work 6 hours later! You can only imagine how slow the second part of my day can be like. I can actually be more pro-active and perform tasks that aren't mine. However, I tried that before, and it's safe to say I'm not doing that again. A few months back, I tried being more pro-active to ease out my boredom. In short, picking up everyone else's slack. And you know what I got for that - BURNOUT! I got no recognition at all. In fact, they all thought
.
"Oh, Debbie's doing the job so well, let's dump her with everything else there is to do." WTF!

I can quite accurately say that I've burned my finger once before, I'm not touching the flame again.

So here I go, ho-humming along my afternoons, thinking of better things to do.. Facebook? I feel like I'm more updated on it that the average individual. Multiply? Practically browsed through whatever my contacts have posted every 15 minutes. Friendster? Nah.. Too crap. Ooooh, but I do enjoy revelling in all that Perez Hilton has to say. Too bad his updates can not keep up at all with my thirst for Hollywood gossip. So what's a girl to do?? Blog.

In the midst of all these, I do feel a sense of hopefulness. A feeling that everything's going to change for the better. I've always been an eternal optimist. The thought of knowing that there's a silver lining somewhere is enough to make me feel that there's hope for tomorrow. I'm not the most accurate person in the world to know what this "something better" is, but I know it's bound to happen. Work at the moment may be crap, but I'm looking forward to our new 46 inch TV that will be delivered on Friday. We already have a karaoke party now in place!

I've got the Yuletide bug itching too. I spent (waaay) too much on decorations. We've decked out the unit in Holiday cheer, I'm looking forward to getting hold of Christmas songs so I can start playing them over and over and over and over - well, you get my point. :)

I say nothing much has changed but if you just learn to keep yourself entertained, you WILL be entertained.
That's it for now I suppose. Till next time, I've gotta check back with Perez.

xoxo (Ha!),
Debbie

My Song du Jour

I don't even know if he still thinks of me
Once he got on board that unforgiving train
I imagine that he whiled away the time
Through that cold grey morning and the city rain
Thinking of somebody else who'll run to him
Who'll ask him "did you miss me?", "maybe now and then"
Laughing he'll say well, he "met this funny girl"
But "just a summer think" he won't see her again
Oh, God! I hope I'm wrong but I'm not feeling very strong
I've been so up and down, so sad, so happy, feeling good and bad
I'm young, I'm old, I laugh, I cry
I tell the truth, but that's a lie
I've been so in and out, so wild, so well behaved, so pure defiled
Oh, solitudine! That word I hate to say
And no, I was not crazy to do what we did
I even wish I'd been a bit more crazy still
And kept a little more of him to see my through
He loved me all he could, I never had my fill
And then I'm back inside my room, he knows so well
I fell again the way he moved I take it slow
I talk to him and he becomes part of me
And then I know he'll never let the summer go
Oh, God! I hope I'm right I won't give in without a fight
And I can take the words they throw at me
For none of them could know that we had something
Very few will ever find their whole life through
I wouldn't change a single day
Although the price I have to pay is solitudine
The loneliness is tearing me apart, it tears me up
It pulls me down and then it wraps around my heart
Does he remember all he said to me?

Absence Does Not Mean Absence

So, I have been MIA from the blogging world for quite some time. Still adjusting to being domesticated, as you might say. Having MJ around always is heaps fun! On the other hand, it has been such a learning experience. Learning to live with someone 24/7 is hardwork! Least to say, domestication has taken up most of my time.

From this page, it might seem as though it has been a little quiet. No blog entries, no updates, no nothing. Ssshhh... do you even hear the crickets? But from behind the scenes, I've been all over the place. I've learned to appreciate the game of rugby (dili kanang murag drugs ha, LOL).to feeling extremely privileged that I get to have everyday dates with my fiance. Cheap movie tickets. Walks along the harbour. And getting spoilt with Max Brenner every so often.

I've taken up a new sport - squash. Yoga once a week. Cut my long hair to a mid-length bob with blonde highlights all over. Absolutely adoring my hairdresser named Mak and her work- gorgeous girl with an amazing personality. Grabbing tickets to Phantom of the Opera, Cirque de Soleil's Dralion and IMAX passes to Batman - The Dark Knight.

And of course, getting ready for the big day. It's less than a month away now and things are now falling into place. Won't be a lavish one, but I hope one that will be meaningful to all present.

See my dear friends, in life, you'll never know what to expect next. At times it might seem as if the world is all bland and beige. At some point in time, one might think that it's all too quiet and.... boring... But nothing is what it seems to be. There's a whole new exciting world that's brewing behind the scenes. Absence does not mean absence - it only means that something great is about to unfold.

Cheers to the future and to all wonderful things to come!


Oh,oh,oh! Check out my very first attempt at HTML!

go figure!

Now this is more like it!

Hahaha!

Your Reputation Is: Maneater

You're the kind of girl all the chicks hate... And guys are both scared of you yet strangely drawn in.

Do You Have A Bad Girl Reputation?

Shortest Personality Test

Can I say I agree with the result? Not quite... I just liked the simplicity and classic-feel of the photo. I just thought of posting this anyway just for kicks.

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

The Veronika in Me

I finished reading the book Veronika Decides To Die not too long ago, and just like all other Paolo Coehlo penned pieces, this was another can't-put-down read. This is the second part of the trilogy And on the Seventh Day and as the title suggests, reflects the author's views on death and his own experiences in a mental institution.

Being the drama queen that I am, I couldn't help but relate myself to the lead character, Veronika. Not sure if it's only me or the character is meant to tap into each one of the readers but I seriously think I am soo like the unreformed Veronika! I pride in being such a neutral person -- walay libog, in Bisaya. I'm adapt to new environments fairly quickly, get along with most people all because I really don't let anything get to me. I know people with strong opinions about everything that they only move in circles of people who share the same views. Me on the other hand, don't impose my opinions on anyone. I've got my own feelings and views but I think those opinions only apply to me. If other people think otherwise, I really couldn't be bothered. Apathetic you might say. But nothing really gets to me. Nothing really bothers me. Nothing really irks me and gets under my skin.

The Pros: Not having too many worries
Being free of grudes towards people, things and situations
Problem-free* (*most of the time)
Getting along with most people


The Cons: I never really thought it had any, but as the book showed me -- suicidal tendencies (horrors!)

I haven't reached the suicidal tendencies stage yet (thank God!), but at times, I do feel like life can get bland. Boring and just not interesting enough. Life can seem to be nothing more than black, white and the occassional grey. This brings memories of my ReEd teacher in uni when she challenged our class that when faced with a situation, it is better to either love it or hate it. I really didn't get her concept that time because I would rather love it or not care. I felt that if people hate something, they are driven by anger and rage that will lead them into doing wrong, and if I "just didn't care", I wouldn't do anything wrong and that's a better thing, right? Not quite.

After reading the book, I saw that my I-just-don't-care attitude took away all the reds, blues, yellows in my life! Everyone is absolutely unique and it's ok to hate or dislike something. It's all part of being human, of being passionate. It is only through loving and hating that one lives life to the fullest and makes the most of what God had given us. We only have one shot at this thing called life, and not caring is just not good enough.

Deborah delight

The Recipe For Deborah

3 parts Energy 2 parts Instinct 1 part Warmth Splash of Delight Sip slowly on the beach

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

I've Grown Up!

Well, according to this test anyway. =)

You Are A Woman!

Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

Virtual Rehab

Rehab is in fashion these days. However, the only thing I can think of that I've been having in excess is my virtual presence -- the sites I maintain in cyberspace -- my virtual portfolio, as you might say. Two friendster accounts, Multiply, Facebook, MySpace, Yahoo 360, Flicker and a whole lot of other crap, most of which I don't even bother to check. I feel I need to detox my accounts because I feel like my messy footprints are all over cyberspace and I feel my virtual presence is such a clutter! The need to clean up my online mess is so overwhelming at the moment. I tried fixing up my Multiply but I'm not too content with the themes I've come across. I'm thinking of deleting both my Friendster accounts and setting up a new one. And don't even get me started on my Facebook. Now, I got a weekend project! Hopefully, 2 days is enough for this, ahem, project.

Can't Hardly Wait

I will be lying if I said there wasn't one thing on my mind these days. 18 days to go till I get to play tour guide to my hugsy here in Sydney! :) When I was leaving for Cebu in November, I started my countdown around 40 days before my departure, and those 40 days seemed to just fly by. Oddly enough, 18 days seems too far! The clock has been teasing me and testing my patience. I've already have my itinerary set out for the weekend that MJ arrives here. I've taken the Friday and Monday off, and we've already got our schedules full! From restaurant reservations, to a visit to Luna Park, to the registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. I'm not even looking forward to the Easter Long Weekend. All through work today, I was emailing with Tita Fe and Pana. They were thinking of spending Easter Long Weekend in the Central Coast - complete with Pinoy dishes. Even the lure of Crispy Pata and Arroz Caldo isn't enough to drag me out of my beloved Sydney. I'm just planning to spend the whole time here, counting down the days till "M-bie" comes to be.

It's Growing Too Fast!

Enough said.

Sharing Spaces

Saturday morning was the first day of Autumn, and the cold early morning air was unforgiving, waking me up to grab a sheet for warmth. I realised that I was already wrapped up in my blanket. So I got up and decided to bring out the winter gear and put away my summer wardrobe. As I was doing this, it occured to me that I might just as well make way for MJ's arrival at the end of the month. Meaning, I had to make space for him in my wardrobe and my drawers ...and my bed.

It wasn't easy emptying half of my wardrobe. What initially seemed like a menial task at first was becoming a burden. Why did I have to go through the horrors of segragating which clothes I needed and which ones weren't. I slowly started to turn against MJ. He was the one who was soon-to-be encroaching on in my life, why did I have to go through the inconvenience. I loved my clothes and always boasted about my roomy wardrobe and now, I had to reduce it by 50%! How much more compromising would it be to be in a domestic partnership? MJ had suggested that he just buy one of those zip-up, cheapy-looking, assembly-required wardrobes. For what? So it could ruin the decor of my pretty little room? No way, Jose. It was eating me up. Am I ready to actually spend half of my time and space with this guy? Being boyfriend-girlfriend was fine. But moving in together? I wasn't quite sure how it would feel.

Sunday afternoon, I was walking to church. It was a good 15-minute walk from the Westfield Parramatta, the mall where I've just been. The weather was really good and while I was walking, I passed by the river. I saw people aimlessly walking about and families having picnics. I so wanted to spend the afternoon there. Just lying around in the park with a good book in hand. And there was nothing more that could make it better than having MJ beside me. I secretly tried to hide my smile. There was nothing more my heart wanted than to have him beside me -- even if I had to vacate half my wardrobe and drawers.

After several Sex and the City reruns, it was really hard to get sleep on Sunday evening. Maybe it was the new pillows that I bought for MJ. Maybe it was becasue I wasn't used to sleeping on the outer edge to the bed. I tried moving to"my side", the other side of the bed closer to the wall. I was still tossing and turning. Then I realised, I don't have A side. I normally slept in the middle of the bed. So I curled up into my favorite fetal-position, taking up my itty bitty spot right smack in the middle of the bed. I don't need to choose which side of the bed I wanted to sleep in -- well, at least until MJ gets here. For now, I'll make the most of sleeping in the middle.

School Girl's Fantasies

Ok, so this blog isn't as naughty as the title leads it on to be, but I just had to blog my experience last night.

Who would've thought that you'd find me screaming on top of my lungs when the Backstreet Boys came on stage. It was 9:00 pm and we had been at Acer Arena since half past 6. So when the house lights finally dimmed, I felt compelled to scream as loud as I can. I didn't feel the least bit embarrassed since everyone else started screaming too. The house was full of BSB fanatics. I even saw a pair of blondes wearing butt-skimming shorts with the words "Backstreets' Back" written all over the back side -- I'm pretty sure the pun was intended. All through the one and a half hour show, I was singing and dancing to tracks I obsessed with through out high school. Sure the boys looked different, especially without Kevin. But they still sounded the same as before. I was surprised they still energised the stage with their dance moves considering the guys are around their 3rd decade mark.

When they came to Manila 14 or 15 years ago, I sure wanted to go and see them perform live. Being in high school then, I didn't have the cash to buy the concert tickets, much less plane tickets to fly out to Manila. I'm sure as hell mum and dad wouldn't give me the money just to see some boys wiggle their ass on stage. I swore if ever I had the chance to catch them, I wouldn't miss it. Fast forward to February 2008 and I'm now 23 turning on 24 in a few months. I wasn't as ecstatic as I was back then but you could say I needed "closure". So I screamed as loud as I can, danced as hard as my heels could stand and sing every single bloody word of their songs. I walked out of Acer Arena, with a huge grin on my face thinking to myself, "Damn that felt good."

Resurrected!

Blogger blog resurrected! Why? Because I just think $90 on renewing my .Mac subscription is just a whole load of crap. I mean if I can get the same thing form Blogger, why not?

I've been spending a lot of nights-in anyway, so what better way of passing time away than by documenting my thoughts and adventures on the www. It's a pretty reasonable way to while away the time -- a great alternative to retail therapy! Shopping as a past time/hobby/ therapy can have it's downsides. I can never seem to manage stepping out of a shop or mall without a purchase. Hence the ressucitation of this blog.

As I mentioned in my .Mac blog, this is a great introspective tool too. So, for those (not-quite) boring nights in with my trusted Mac, here goes nothing!

It's good to be back. :)