Kiama Adventure

19.05.07 -- Girlie Day Trip. Asa, Meg, Me and Maricel. Head down to the lovely South Coast for an afternoon of chill.

The much-hyped (but undeserved) blow hole was a bummer. But we had fish and chips, king prawns and alcohol for lunch. It was a sunny day, we sat by the rock pool beside the beach, heaps of girl bonding, a bit of English tutorial:

Meg: What's the difference between pretty and cute?
Me: (thinking to myself) Does it make a difference?
Maricel: Pretty is for a girl while cute is something small.
Me: (thinking to myself) Could be....
Asa: Ok.
Me: (thinking to myself) hahaha... wala ko'y lingaw! hahaha

We topped it off with ice cream! I had my usual -- mint chocolate and rocky road. We had a good trip.

Every Other Time

I was listening to my iPod this morning, with the playlist set to the POP genre. I don't usually listen to this play list but what the heck, I was feeling pop-py this morning. I was listening to one song, kinda old school. The beat sounded familiar, and I thought to myself, this must be one of 'em tracks I listened to in high school. I checked the display to see what song was playing. It was Every Other Time by LFO. As the song played on, I listened closely to the lyrics. A huge grin slowly crept my lips. I tried holding my smile back as I'm sure I would've looked kinda silly with that grin on while walking alone in my corporate wear along the cobblestone pavement. I had this giddy feeling inside too. Kinda like butterflies in the stomach.

See, the past days, MJ and I had been going through a lot of relationship dramas. In the past 5 days, I've broke up with him twice already. Cried several times. Had a couple of verbal stand-offs with him. But in spite of all these, he's remained pretty cool, calm and collected. Sometimes, he fights back, but in the end, he just says he loves me more when I get mad and that I look so cute when I frown and when I cry, all he wants to do is kiss me. So when I heard this song, a light bulb definitely lit up.


I said lets talk about it
as she walked out on me and slamed the door
but I just laugh about it
cuz shes always playin those games
C'mon
(deep down) deep down i know she loves me
but shes got a funny way of showin me how she cares (she cares)
last night she did a donut on my lawn
and drove out w/ her finger in the air
Oh yeah
Sometimes its black
Sometimes its white
Sometimes shes wrong
Sometimes im right
Sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
But then she just changed her mind
Sometimes shes hot
Sometimes im cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode
But when i think about it im so in love with her
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every oth-every other time
sometimes we sit around
just the 2 of us on the park bench
sometimes we swim around
like 2 dolphins in the oceans of our hearts
but then i think about the time that we broke up before the prom
and u told everyone that I was gay "ok"
sometimes I walk around the town
for i was just to settle down
but I take you back
and u kick me down
cuz thats the way uhhu uhhu I like it
Sometimes its black
Sometimes its white
Sometimes shes wrong
Sometimes im right
Sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
But then she just changed her mind
Sometimes shes hot
Sometimes im cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode
But when i think about it im so in love with her
Every other time
nananananananananana
yeah every other time
nananananananananana
Every other time
nananananananananana
Every oth-every other time
Keep it up home girl
don'tcha quit
u know the way u scream is the ultimate
And when I walk away
just watch the clock n then i don't even get around the block
and I say "let's talk about it"
as she walks out on me and slams the door
one day we'll laugh about it
cuz we're always playin those games

I told MJ about it. We couldn't help but share a laugh together. He was the one who even sent me the lyrics. We both agreed it's our song of the moment. Realizing that frequent minor fights does not necessarily mean the demise of the relationship. What matter is, at the end of the day, both parties can laugh off all the problems away and want nothing more than just being with each other.

Oh, Drama!

Life is a stage, they say. If mine were a play, there would definitely be loads of drama. I'm not really a drama queen. I'm too passive to be one. It takes a lot to faze me actually. But often times, I find myself pretending as life my whole life is actually on stage or on film at least. You know, The Truman Show kind of thing only a tad bit classier. My life would be a musical. Theater. Ballet. That sort of thing. With my iPod always, in tow, I'd pick out my playlist that suits my mood and the atmosphere.

Like my early morning walks to the station when 6:30AM looks like 3:00AM and in the blistering cold, I've got Hed Kandi Winter Chill on. The soft electronica beats. Not too fast. Wind howling. Cinematic.

On the way home, I pass the Parramatta River where the view of the setting sun can be so breathtaking. Shades of indigo meet hues of yellow and orange at the horizon. I play Autumn Tactics.

Or when having one of my (very so often) rows with MJ. I blast Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know. Never mindful of fellow passengers hearing my playlist. Annoying, I know. It's my guilty indulgence. I can't help it. As they say, "Thou shall not attempt to reason with a woman in scorn."

Ahh, pure drama. And I loving it more than ever.

As Seen on TV

Oh yes, the secret is out. A few weeks ago and I think I blogged about this, I read a magazine article on The Secret. According to this, the universe abides by the Laws of Attraction. Sounding a bit like a basic rule in Chem101 -- Like dissolves like -- or in this context, what you give out is what you get back. Positive outlook and positive demeanor and bring you the life that you want. All you have to do is live the life that you want even if you're not there yet. This theory has been around for some time now. Ren always used to talk about it. She had a term for it _____ fulfillment. But you know what I mean.. It's when if you think,visualize and feel something hard enough, it will eventually happen. And I'm glad that I'm reminded of all these.
It's when you actually believe in something that it will manifest in your life which will eventually lead you to the life you want to live! One of the authors said, you have to write in DETAIL how you want your life to be and actually start believing in it. Do something everyday that reinforces that thought until it becomes second nature.

....... ........... ........... ........................

Hmm... It's a lot harder than it seems actually.. But, I'll give it a second go...

I get up in the morning, look out the window and see the sun creeping through the drapes, smiling and giving a soft nudge for me to get up and experience the wonderful day ahead.
My hugs beside me, waking up at about the same time, giving me a soft kiss on my forehead.
We both get up, and I proceed to the bathroom. Turn on the hot water tap and enjoy a nice warm bath - long enough for me to enjoy the relaxing scent of the shower gel (lavender, my fave!). I open the wardrobe, set on the bed my outfit for the day, and hugs' too. I slip on my skirt -- lo and behold! It fits perfectly! Maybe it's because I've been working out regularly and eating healthy. The kitchen greets me with the wonderful smell of omellettes and bacon that my hugs just cooked. I head to the office and the traffic isn't so bad early in the day. I have a blast at the office. Getting my files processed because of the lovely carrier people that give me my files ASAP. A little fun at lunch at the pub or maybe the park again this time. On my way home, I look forward to seeing my family - my mum who is preparing dinner while dad and I take a walk along the river. After dinner, tummy full with good food, everyone shares a good laugh along with a good glass of wine (or coffee). A surprise from hugs with a song that he just downloaded and dedicated to me. We both head to bed, happy from the nice day that has been and looking forward to another great one.

That felt good... Kinda therapeutic even. Me loving this. :)

Piercing Pains

And he actually did it.... Days after we had initially spoke about us getting matching tongue pierces, he went and had one which is not really a biggie for me EXCEPT THAT HE DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT! How in the world can you "forget" that you had your tongue pierced! Mj sent me an email asking if I was still up for it. And when I failed to reply, he assumed I didn't want it so he went out and had one. But again, HOW COULD HE NOT TELL ME OR EVEN ATL LEAST MENTION IT SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN OUR 1-2 HOURS OF TALK EACH DAY?!?!?! How stupid is that??? We got in a huge row last night because of that. We're still not in speaking terms up until today. I'm just sick of this attitude - the "I forgot" complex he has. I ended up telling him about how I'm thinking of postponing the wedding coz I just can't get married to a person who "forgets" to tell me stuff! Aaarrrrggghhhhhh, this is stressing me out and not helping the dizzy spells I've been having because of my low BP these past days. This is not turning out well.

Meet the Parents

Meeting the Parents. Omigod... I think today was definitely nerve-wracking. This wasn't your usual first-time-to-meet-the-parents scenario. Let me count the ways:

1st - HIS parents and MY parents -- meeting up. Chinese vs Fil-Australian. Culture Clashes? Traditional idiosyncrasies? WW III? Who could predict what could happen?!

2nd - I've met MJ's parents countless times already. But aside from exchanging the awkward HIs and HELLOs, we've never really had a conversation. MJ on the other hand,
has met my parents gazillions of times already. He doesn't just swap greetings with them, he jokes around, fools around, sometimes trying to carry out a deep conversation -- in true MJ fashion. So you expect things will be comfortably easy? NOT.

3rd - I'm in Sydney and they're in Cebu! You're thinking that would save me the face to face embarrassment, not to mention awkwardness of the whole situation by trying to act as pacifier to these two parties that haven't met in their life! Both having the protective-possessing feeling for their kids. But just being present in spirit was not easy - NOT AT ALL.

Tension rose between MJ and me. I think both of us were anxious about this happening. I do have to give him credit though having to go through this alone. At least I could just space out and forget about this meeting of sorts (well, I tried to but to no success). Minutes before picking up my mom, MJ and I got into this argument which ended up in me hanging up.

But as they say, Alls well, ends well. I do not have a clue what happened in the arena of the parents meeting with MJ as referee. The only thing that concerns me is that all parties left with a smile on their faces. No tears, no bloodshed. Resounding success. Whew.

Something tells me it's just the beginning of things to come.

Before and After

After what originally seemed to be just a quiet Friday after-work-dinner...

and camera hogging.....

Hubog na si Kelly! haha!

*and my hair has gone flap*

Highs and Lows

I had almost resigned my social life to non-existence -- until last weekend. Yeah sure, I've had a few night outs but none too impressive. I just miss the "culture" I had if I met up with Macmac, Louise and the rest of the gang, or even just with MJ. Even without meticulous planning, we would always know what to do and how to have fun. Even if we just met up for coffee or a full-blown club night - I always had a blast. Which is very different to how I've been having it over here.

Yet, it has been a rollercoaster the past few days for me.

At Ed's housewarming party last Saturday, I had a blast. Ended up spending the night (morning - to be more specific) at Pam's place. I just learned too that Ed is also Chanel's uncle! I met Marco who comes from Cebu too, and taga TC pajud. haha! Such a small world.

Then I was dead the whole day Sunday. Dead with a massive hang-over.

Monday was pretty dull.

Tuesday was alright.

I got really pumped from my work out on Wednesday.

Thursday, the brokerage run was really draining. But then I met up with Meg, Asa (Meg's friend) and Marco at Star Bar. It was fun. The place wasn't as good looking as it was on their website. Food was alright. But we had booze - that made everything else better. Got home at 1AM. f**k.

Friday - had to wake up. Was 10mins late to work. I wasn't too worried coz usually, my bosses aren't in on Fridays. But lo and behold, Sarah (my manager) was there when I got to the office. Bugger. I fininshed allocating all my files which is a good thing. But I've still got an hour to go, and it's pretty boring already. Got nothing to do!

Marco said something about purple sneakers tonight (the guy does have frequent ramblings of weird stuff *peace,marc*). I don't know if that's pushing through. I'd like to go out, but I haven't heard from Marc or Meg. Maybe that's because my friggin' phone is dead! But then, I got into trouble with MJ too about last night. I didn't have enough text messages.

At least I still have Spiderman with Maricel tomorrow.

A Night on the Prowl

I'm meeting up with a few friends tonight. It's been a while since I've seen Megumi, or Meg as I like to call her. It's been a few months maybe. When I was new in town, Meg was my constant companion. We both have the same likes - quaint cafes, adventures, out-of-town trips and we're both camera whores. But our schedules have been quite busy. I went to Bangkok and she's went to Melbourne and Canberra. She's going back to Japan this June so we HAD to meet up again. She messaged me last Wednesday wanting to meet up which was just the right timing. Edward, Carmela's friend had invited me to his house warming party today at Maroubra. I wanted to go coz Ed and I had been planning for what seems like forever to meet up. We had originally planned to meet up when Carmela was still in Brisbane. But as usual, things got in the way and we didn't end up seeing each other. So I thought it would be great timing! I could meet up with Ed and Meg at the same time. I asked Ed if it was ok if I brought a friend along coz I might end up as a wall flower at the party if I went there alone. Lucky enough, Ed said it was fine so I got it all planned out now.

Then I remembered Pamela. Pam just lives around the area and I thought after the house warming party, we could go for after-party drinks somewhere in Kings Cross and Pam and I could meet up too. I messaged Pam and turns out she's up for it too. Woohoo! I've got a full night tonight. Come to think of it, it might be too full. hmmm... Oh well, que sera sera. When it rains it definitely pours.

Girls Gone Wild

We had our normal Thursday run yesterday. But for some reason, the preliminary just kept on falling over? Why? Beats me. The prelim run takes about 30 minutes and we had to re-do it 3 times! Which means we were delayed for at least an hour and a half. Being the ingenious that we are, we had to find ways to entertain ourselves. Everyone started mucking around with the camera (more on that to come). Dali came up with the idea of having an ice cream party. We had some left over ice in the fridge from Monday's celebration of KJ's and Lynn's birtday. Dali and I were the first to race to the kitchen, grab our tubs of chocolate and cookies and cream delights. Everyone had their share of ice cream but Dali, Kelly and I ended up having to go for seconds. As Sarah says, this is why we go to the gym. Oh, I'm so living a fatty (but oh-so-fun) life. Which led me and Kel to decide this morning, we're gonna have a biggest loser competion. I'm having the zero calorie diet (excluding my daily dose of caffeine, of course), and she'll be having the "healthy" diet. Judgement day will be on 15th of July. The prize? A fatty dinner and a round of sugary cocktails. haha!

Wedding Woes

So I'm engaged... Does this mean I really have to get married? Do I owe it to the world to stand by my "announcement" that I'm engaged and push through with this wedding-thing even if it's not exactly the right fit? Another day has passed and another argument with MJ again. What was it about this time? It started last night, I asked him about when he's coming over. Which I very well know the answer. I just asked this to open a topic and just to get his thought that would appease my missing him. And I get the answer "As soon as possible, hugsy." Then proceeds to ramble about some stupid joke that I really couldn't care less. Now he's surprised that I'm pissed off.

It didn't help either that I had this dream. In the dream, I was all dolled up in my wedding dress. But I'm frantically scurrying around the room checking if everything's ok. MJ was sitting in front of the tele sipping on a cold can of beer. I'm urging him to do something and help. He looks at me, sits back and says "Just relax, honey." Then the guests start arriving. The minister isn't there yet, the food isn't ready and I don't have my bouquet of flowers! I start giving MJ a lecture about this then he gets sick of my bagulbul, heads for the door, meets up with his friends, and doesn't answer my phone calls. I end up with a bunch of hungry guests awaiting a wedding to happen with the groom missing.

So I wasn't exactly in my best mood when he called up today. I tried telling him about my worries and fears about this wedding, and he took it the wrong way. He started rambling about not wanting to talk to me until I cooled my head. Conversation ended up with me in tears. It's half past eight now. I've gotta be in bed by 9. Still no call from him. I should've known better. He keeps on putting this conversation off until a better time. But when is the better time? He always has excuses -- "Not now, I'm on my way to work", "Not now, I'm too tired.", "Not now, I don't have enough sleep.", "Not now, coz you're too hot-headed."

So when is the right time for us to talk about this? Or should I be making this decision alone? Will it be right and fair if I decided by myself to put this wedding off because he doesn't wanna talk about it?

I Deserve A Breather

Whew... It's only Tuesday and I feel so burnt out. I have been working late the past days. Plus, the weather hasn't been too cooperative. It's been bucketing for a few days now. It just makes me wanna sleep in. I was lucky yesterday, this nice guy offered me a lift to the station. I was working back, and when I decided to leave the office (not because my work was done but only because my brain refused to function already), I found that everyone else had left. When I got in the lift, this guy, Peter said it was pouring hard. I didn't realize it until the lift stopped at the ground floor, and when the door opened, yep, it definitely was raining hard. I'd be silly if I attempted to walk to the station. So I decided to step back in the lift and wait in the office until the rain stopped. I was lucky he offered a lift to the station. I didn't hesitate. He's one of the big shots at AMP who shares the building with us and I've bumped into him a few times too in the building so I figured he was safe enough.hehe

So I made a resolution, this kind of weather -- you really can't trust. This morning, I marched out of the house, armed with my umbrella and boots. I was wearing my black turtleneck shirt underneath my gray shift dress. I looked proper -- too proper in fact. So I decided to put on my fishnet tights, just to add some flair to the outfit.

It has been overcast the whole day. Went to the gym alone coz Kelly wasn't feeling too well. Had to fit my whole program in an hour-long lunch break. Felt a bit guilty coz when I looked at my gym card, it only had 3 sets of marks in it. Three marks in three weeks! Meaning I've only gone to the gym once a week... grrr... That will have to change.

I'm home now. Feeling so weary and dreary. MJ and I got to talk for 20-something minutes. I hate it when the conversation just gets cut-off. This long distance thing is definitely taking its toll. Well, at least it's a public holiday tomorrow - ANZAC Day. Who knows why we celebrate it, but I'm just glad to have a mid-week breather. I'll probably spend the whole day in bed... Ooh, the thought of it is oh so inviting now. Bed... sleep... zzzz.....

How to Deal

When is failure not a failure? When it leads to a success that could have come about in no other way. When is a success not a success? When its ultimate upshot involves a failure that might otherwise have been avoided. We are crazily cavalier about our use of such prematurely. At the moment, you can't possibly know whether it's good to be losing or bad to be winning. Time may well cause you to re-evaluate everything that you think you understand. Meanwhile, you're about to acquire a temporary reason to celebrate. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

First of Many Firsts

Oh all right... I'm gonna try my hand at this blogging thing for one more time. If I remember correctly, this would be my third attempt in starting a blog. Only time will tell for how long this will last. I don't know why I'm never successful with this blogging business. I get too frantic sometimes with all the hustle and bustle of everyday life, or it could very well be my laziness. But more often than not, I find myself with heaps of thoughts and ideas and anxieties and all sorts of thingamajigs than race across my mind. So I figured, might as well blog them down (in my 3rd attempt) to sort everything out.

Just today, I had so many ideas popping to mind and so many things that I thought I want to do.

MJ had this "great" idea of us getting matching tongue-piercings. What gave him this ingenious idea? Beats me. But he's been bringing this topic up several times already. Some days, I feel like it might be a great idea. I mean, there's no true harm at stake. I've always favored piercings rather than tattoos. When you feel like you don't like it anymore (in true female fashion - being fickle minded) you can just take the piercing off and move on. Unlike an ink stain when you have undergo horendous sessions of laser to remove that darn tatoo. Do I sound convinced? Not really. I'm a bit worried that having my tongue pierced might bring about excruciating pain. I wouldn't be able to talk or eat (that might be a good thing,hehe). What if it get's infected? Ewww.... I'll save you the graphic scenes I have of an infected tongue pierce. So that topic is still undecided.

Moving on... As I was on the train to the city, I was listening to Rihanna's Unfaithful on my iPod. I just noticed how great the piano sounds. I felt like jumping that minute and find a music school so I could learn piano all again. I can hear my mom's sigh now. All those years she put me to piano classes and all the convincing she had to do just to make me show up for those classes. Somehow, I convinced myself and my mom that I just have way to short fingers to play the piano gracefully. But why this nagging feeling for piano lessons now? When it's waaayyyy out of budget to find a reputable piano school in Sydney.

But sometimes, it's just best to let it all be, and letting things unfold at its own pace. As I have always said, "Things happen for a reason". It's the perfect excuse too. So I found myself, sitting at a quaint al fresco cafe by Sydney Harbour. Feeling content. Imbibing all the goodness around and thinking to myself -- I really couldn't complain about where I am now. I might still have dreams to follow, aspirations to fulfill, unrealistic wants (such as the latest LV patch bag), but sometimes, so much can be too much. All it takes for one to be happy is to BE happy with whatever one has. This is the big secret.