E-mote

Feelings evoke Passion.

But what if I've got a kaleidoscope of feelings happening all at the same time? Some feelings manifesting quite "loudly" while others are mere whispers in the background. I'm not sure what to make of it really.

Times like today, I'm feeling really anxious and confused. Not sure about the WHYs and WHATs. I have a hunch my mind is defensively screening my thoughts. I'm feeling this way and there is a reason why. What these reasons are? I don't know. I think my mind is blocking out these reasons for fear of getting hurt. What's more prominent though in the forefront of my mind are happy thoughts, and these very thoughts are what's causing the tiny, barely audible echoes of whispers of happiness and contentment. However, the more I subconsiously repress the sad thoughts and push them further into the deepest abbyss of my mind, the negative feelings somehow resonate louder and louder. And still I refuse to face the music and process what might be causing these negative feelings.

Am I ready to face whatever this thing that's bothering me is? Am I ready to deal with the outcome? Will I come out of this stronger and better and ever? Or will I just crumble to bits.

The answers to those questions don't matter. I should do it still and that's the only honorable way to go.